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1. Anything yaoi-related is strictly prohibited from the base.
2. Yes, even PeinxKonan.
3. None of the Akatsuki are gay.
4. Itachi is not a girl.
5. Neither is Deidara.
6. Or Sasori, no matter how funny it is to think so.
7. Kakuzu is not a drug dealer, nor is Zetsu made of weed.
8. Konan is not a whore, and will gladly kick the ass of anyone who thinks so.
9. Tobi in no way resembles Darth Vader.
10. Nor are the six bodies of Pein to be considered his Clone Troopers.
11. The Bijuu are not Pokemon, so please refrain from singing the Pokemon theme song on missions.
12. Even if we are trying to "catch 'em all.
13. We will not be addressed as "Team Rocket".
14. Hidan is not a vampire, even if his hairstyle resembles Dracula's.
15. Sasori is not a drug addict.
16. Even if he looks like one.
17. Refrain from glomping others, as it may be dangerous to your health and well-being.
18. Neko-chan is not to be reffered to as Magical Nyan Nyan Taruto, or any of the Tokyo Mew Mew characters.
19. Neko-chan will kill anyone who calls her "Ichigo", as she does not want to be mistaken for a "pink-haired bitch".
20. Do not refer to Tobi as "Tobi-sama"or "Leader-sama". Especially not in front of Pein.
21. Tours of the Akatsuki base to Konoha shinobi are not allowed.
22. Be careful what you say to Zetsu, as he may end up argueing with himself for hours.
23. Do not interrupt Kisame when he is eating. It makes him grumpy.
24. ANYONE WHO CANNOT CONTROL THEIR FANGIRLS SHALL BE THROWN OUT.
25. None of the "Akatsuki Pick-up Lines" shall be mentioned or said while in the base.
26. Do not give Tobi coffee if you know what's good for you.
27. Or Pixie-stix.
28. Do not call Deidara "sempai" as it makes Tobi feel unwanted.
29. Kisame is not to be referred to as "Jaws", "Fish Boy", or "Sushi".
30. In response to many Youtube videos, Itachi is not an "emo kid".
31. Nor has Deidara ever worked at Burger King.
32. Sasori indeed had a Speak n' Spell as a child, but do not mention it to him, as it gives him nightmares.
33. Neko-chan is allowed on her laptop as long as she wants. Take it away from her only at your own risk.
34. Kazul is allowed in and out of the base as she pleases. Unlike Orochimaru, she will be sure to come back.
35. Deidara is not a "candy man".
36. Nor is Itachi a "superstar", no matter he wishes he was.
37. Snakes are not allowed in the base, as it attracts..."unwanted company".
38. Try and ignore some of the stuff Zoto says. anything you say to her can and will be used against you. And we mean ANYTHING.
39. ITachi does not have "Uchiha senses".
40. Do not get Kakuzu mad, as we can no longer afford paying medical bills.
41. You not Kakuzu's "apprentice", nor has he ever fired anyone.
42. Kakuzu in no way resembles Ebenezer Scrooge or Eugene Krabs.
43. Do not try to eat Tobi, he is not a lollipop.
44. Neko-chan is allowed to call Deidara “nii-chan” anytime she wants. This does not give you permission to, by any means.
45. Be aware that if you choose to take sides with one of the Akatsuki’s artists, it will put you on bad terms with the others.
46. It is Neko-chan’s job to feed the Bijuu. Doing so yourself may result in you being mauled by demons.
47. Do not steal and/or try to use Deidara’s clay; if it blows up half the base you will be responsible for reconstruction fees.
48. None of the Akatsuki resemble Harry Potter characters, and will therefore not be addressed as such.
49. Except Orochimaru. He looks like Voldemort and he knows it.
50. Do not steal Kakuzu’s wallet. ‘Nuff said.
51. Sasori does not keep his organs in jars beside his bed, and must not be asked such questions.
52. Sasori is not a male stripper.
53. Thankfully.
54. Watering Zetsu does not make him grow, it only gets him angry.
55. Tobi  is a good boy. You are not allowed to call yourself a good boy/girl. In extension,
56. All catch phrases are copyrighted by the person who uses them, and using them yourself can be considered illegal if necessary.
57. Do not steal any Miracle Gro from Zetsu’s fridge.
58.Challenging Itachi to a ping-pong match will only lead to your own undoing.
59. If you value your life to any degree, do not disturb Sasori while he is building his card towers.
60. Strip poker is not allowed on Game Night.
61. Do not compare Konan to Hyuga Hinata; they look nothing alike.
62. The Teletubbies theme song is strictly prohibited from the base.
63. We are indeed the champions. Singing the song is not necessary.
64. Do not put strings on Sasori.
65. Zoto and Itachi are allowed to argue as much as they want. It keeps them from getting bored.
66. Tobi, listen closely: Clay is NOT porridge.
67. Itachi is allowed to sleep late. Do not question that.
68. Do not use any flame-producing products near Sasori, he is highly flammable.
69. Kisame is not “the Rainbow Fish”.
70. Hidan is not the Grim Reaper.
71. No matter how cool that would be.
72. Yes, we eat ramen here. This in no way makes us similar to Naruto Uzumaki.
73. Itachi is not a pimp, even if he wishes he was one.
74. Nor are any of the Akatsuki his “bitches”.
75. Do not allow mirrors near Tobi, as he believes he is being sucked into another dimension.
76. We are the dark side, and yes, we have cookies, but is it really necessary to keep saying that?
77. Caramelldansen is permitted on Game Night only.
78. It is a bad idea to challenge Kisame to a GH3 duel, as you will soooo get your ass kicked.
79. Kazul is not to be mistaken for a Jinchuriki.
80. We do not resemble the Ouran High School Host Club in any way.
81. Nor the people from Azumanga Daioh.
82. Or Sailor Scouts.
83. We are not gangsters, so please stop talking like that.
84. Do not mention the Mafia or Al Qaeda here. We are ten times better than they will ever be.
85. Even though our long term goal can be considered “world peace”, we are in no way “hippies”, and are not to be referred to as such.
86. Kisame is not a cannibal. The only time he ever ate shark, we tricked him into doing it, and he promptly vomited after being told.
87. Alcohol is strictly prohibited from the base, especially near Hidan. Yes, Sasori, you too.
88. Please do not pet Neko-chan like a cat. No, she doesn’t like it.
89. It is Itachi’s job to make prank calls to Otogakure, as he is the best at impersonating a Girl Scout. Do not ask why.
90. Do not interrupt Kazul while she is drawing, as it may result in death.
91. DO NOT get Crystal annoyed, or you will face the concequences.
92. Itachi does not want "Fabulous"
93. Do not go into Tobi's room, or he'll lock you in and ramble about randomness until your head explodes (Not Deidara's fault)
94. Do NOT, and I mean NOT!!!! eat Itachi's dango. You'll go through 72 hours of torture.
95. Do not call (1) Itachi "weasel", (2) Sasori "Pinnochio", (3)Deidara "Ino", (4) Kakuzu "Cheap bastard", (5)Hidan "Mother Fucker", (6) Kisame "Fish", (7) Zetsu "Vegetable", (8) Pein "Yondaime" or "Peircing freak", (9) Tobi "A bad boy", (10) Neko-chan "Strawberry shortcake", (11) Kazul "Raven", (12) Byakko a "Nice Kitty-kitty," while patting her head like she's five, (13) or Crystal an "Obsessed Itachi fangirl" or you gone get murdered.


Disobeying any of these rules(that do not involve being killed already) may result in such penalties as torture by children’s educational television, being forced to spend time in Tobi’s room, and writing unnecessarily long apologies to both Pein and the person of whom the rule is about.
These rules have been delibirated(sp?) and accepted by Pein, un. If anyone would like to leave a comment with a rule to be added, they will be considered and possibly added to the list.

I apologize to anyone who's flashes or Youtube videos we have contradicted, un.(I happen to love seeing myself as an Azumanga Daioh character^V) I hope that we can remain your non-enemies! :wave:

Gawd, I hate written apologizes, un.


ehem...oh yeah...
Neko-chan belongs to :iconzstarmoonfanz:
Kazul and Zoto belong to :iconkazul24:
Crystal belongs to :iconcoradensha670:
Byakko belongs to :iconkitty--katty:

No stealy, un.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconendraven23:
EndRaven23 Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2015  New member Hobbyist General Artist
love the rules
Reply
:icontamaki199:
Tamaki199 Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2014
I love these rules,I would spend so much time in Tobi's bedroom or writing long apologies.
Reply
:iconkurokeiko:
kurokeiko Featured By Owner May 28, 2014
These rules are great
No wonder Akatsuki is so strict! XD
Reply
:iconbu7loos:
bu7loos Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2014
LOL
Reply
:iconakatsukiminato:
akatsukiminato Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
who's neko-chan?
Reply
:iconlural232:
lural232 Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2013
o.o wow 95 rules i knew so little :( o well [walks to itachi and pokes him]
Reply
:iconkisamelover12:
Kisamelover12 Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2013
For 45, what happens if you say art is a eternal explostion
Reply
:iconhetaliarussialover:
hetaliaRussialover Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
By stating that fact you would be both nuetral and an enemy. Which would cause either the whole base to kill you or the end of the world as we know it, probably both.
Reply
:iconkisamelover12:
Kisamelover12 Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2014
Wouldn't it just be Sasori and deidara trying to kill me?
Reply
:iconhetaliarussialover:
hetaliaRussialover Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist

Yes but you would cuase a huge argument between the two causing the whole base to get angry and seeing how you started the whole mess they would also try to kill you so aas to get the artist to shut up.


Reply
:iconkisamelover12:
Kisamelover12 Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014
...u got a point there
Reply
:iconhetaliarussialover:
hetaliaRussialover Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
... Serious Nod   :lol: 
Reply
:iconmessykatie:
MessyKatie Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is beautiful. I should have these as rules at my house :P
Reply
:icondeath-the-kide:
death-the-kide Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
damn there is a lot of rules o_O

Reply
:iconhimanthehedgehog:
himanthehedgehog Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Wtf lol
Reply
:iconladydemon389:
LadyDemon389 Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2013
Lol that's funny XD
'Do not ask Kakuzu if Jack Skellington is his father, he is still looking for the money owed by child support.'
Reply
:icontaijutsugirl0:
Taijutsugirl0 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013
I got one!

DO NOT under any circumstances repeat ANY "How To Annoy The Akatsuki" lists/fan-fics you may come across while searching art on Deviant Art. Failure to do so will result in your death and/or your computer being tossed out the window by Pein or Itachi.
Reply
:iconmanics-only-chick:
Manics-only-chick Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
aww u forgot not to talk about or yell "OMG its a potato" infront of kakuzu! because he is afraid of them

but its really funny anyways :D
Reply
:iconsarafan206:
Sarafan206 Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2011  Student General Artist
these are all so halarious XD
Reply
:iconmsriachud:
MsRiachuD Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2011
Rule 9 is to funny.
Reply
:iconfinalfatality7:
FinalFatality7 Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2010
My personal favorites: 32. Sasori indeed had a Speak n' Spell as a child, but do not mention it to him, as it gives him nightmares.
59. If you value your life to any degree, do not disturb Sasori while he is building his card towers.
Reply
:iconizaki-ashley:
Izaki-Ashley Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2010  Student Digital Artist
can i tie strings to Sasori since i'm his student?? i mean, deidara did itachi's hair. XD
Reply
:iconakatsuki-rp-club:
Akatsuki-RP-Club Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2010
.........Yes. But don't tell him I said it was OK, un? XD
Reply
:iconizaki-ashley:
Izaki-Ashley Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2010  Student Digital Artist
ok!!!!!!!! i shall keep secret!!!!!!!!!!
Reply
:iconakatsuki-rp-club:
Akatsuki-RP-Club Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2010
Thnx. ^V
Reply
:iconcoradensha670:
Coradensha670 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
DO NOT get Crystal annoyed, or you will face the concequences.

Itachi does not want "Fabulous"

Do not go into Tobi's room, or he'll lock you in and ramble about randomness until your head explodes (Not Deidara's fault)

Do NOT, and I mean NOT!!!! eat Itachi's dango. You'll go through 72 hours of torture.

Do not call (1) Itachi "weasel", (2) Sasori "Pinnochio", (3)Deidara "Ino", (4) Kakuzu "Cheap bastard", (5)Hidan "Mother Fucker", (6) Kisame "Fish", (7) Zetsu "Vegetable", (8) Pein "Yondaime" or "Peircing freak", (9) Tobi "A bad boy", (10) Neko-chan "Strawberry shortcake", (11) Kazul "Raven", (12) Byakko a "Nice Kitty-kitty," while patting her head like she's five, (13) or Crystal an "Obsessed Itachi fangirl" or you gone get murdered.

lol
Reply
:iconakatsuki-rp-club:
Akatsuki-RP-Club Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2009
awsome; ill add hos in a second :)
Reply
:iconcoradensha670:
Coradensha670 Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
:3 Nyoro~n
Reply
:iconduvessa121:
duvessa121 Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2009
Heh. here's one.
"do not, i repeat, do not ask Kakuzu for money, end result, you being tied up."
Reply
:iconakatsuki-rp-club:
Akatsuki-RP-Club Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2009
Coo.
Reply
:iconduvessa121:
duvessa121 Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2009
can you put it there, i bet some people will follow that rule.
Reply
:iconorigamiflower366:
OrigamiFlower366 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2009
Omg thats the funnist thing i ever read!! I read it with my friend Sasori and we both laughed our asses off! I'm Konan^-^
Reply
:iconakatsuki-rp-club:
Akatsuki-RP-Club Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2009
Glad you liked it, un. ^-V
Reply
:iconorigamiflower366:
OrigamiFlower366 Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2009
Hahahaha lol!
Reply
:iconnkatsuki:
nkatsuki Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2009
I LMAO so much when i read this XD
Mai step brother thought i ws going insane ^^;
(he doesnt realize im already there XD)
Reply
:iconakatsuki-rp-club:
Akatsuki-RP-Club Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2009
Thanks so much, we're glad you liked it, un!
Reply
:icondeidarashomie:
DeidarasHomie Featured By Owner May 23, 2009
lol, i have an idea >:3

"Do not, DO NOT, steal Sasori's puppets and dress them up as dolls. He will kill you and/or ruthlessly torture you and may turn you into a puppet as well."

XD mine sucks
Reply
:iconakatsuki-rp-club:
Akatsuki-RP-Club Featured By Owner May 30, 2009
Yes, I never added that only because I've done that at least once, un. ^V'
Reply
:icondeidarashomie:
DeidarasHomie Featured By Owner May 30, 2009
lol! have you really? XD
Reply
:iconakatsuki-rp-club:
Akatsuki-RP-Club Featured By Owner May 30, 2009
Heh, I wish. But that would really make a good prank someday, un!
Reply
:icondeidarashomie:
DeidarasHomie Featured By Owner May 31, 2009
XDD oh noes! i gave you ideas! XDD

lol if you ever do, dress one up for me XD
Reply
:iconakatsuki-rp-club:
Akatsuki-RP-Club Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2009
I SO will, un.

What do you like better, pink frills or skinny black dress? X'DDD
Reply
:icondeidarashomie:
DeidarasHomie Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2009
ohohoho... the black one, that's me XD and thank much! XDDD
Reply
:iconakatsuki-rp-club:
Akatsuki-RP-Club Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2009
No prob.
Reply
:icontobi7891:
tobi7891 Featured By Owner May 20, 2009
Don't forget any people who draw pictures on the bills with crayons *glares at tobi* shall be tortured shortly after.
Reply
:iconakatsuki-rp-club:
Akatsuki-RP-Club Featured By Owner May 23, 2009
Er.....right, un!
Reply
:icontobi7891:
tobi7891 Featured By Owner May 24, 2009
Oh and sasori says you need more clay tobi had fun clay time...
Reply
:iconakatsuki-rp-club:
Akatsuki-RP-Club Featured By Owner May 30, 2009
-_V Dammit, again, un?
Reply
:icontobi7891:
tobi7891 Featured By Owner May 30, 2009
yes again
Reply
:iconhallowfest:
Hallowfest Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2009  Student Digital Artist
i'de like 2 make a rule thats directed 2 some...mentally challenged members *glares at Hidan*

'I will not be refered to as a fish, and no fish jokes or phrases will be said'

I highly suggest u make that rule before my temper gets the better of me and Hidan ends up in a ditch! I hate anything fish related and Hidan is getting on my nerves. So please leader-sama, help me stop this harassment towards me, and who knows. God boy has probably said some other things to the other members. :P
Reply
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