1. Anything yaoi-related is strictly prohibited from the base.
2. Yes, even PeinxKonan.
3. None of the Akatsuki are gay.
4. Itachi is not a girl.
5. Neither is Deidara.
6. Or Sasori, no matter how funny it is to think so.
7. Kakuzu is not a drug dealer, nor is Zetsu made of weed.
8. Konan is not a whore, and will gladly kick the ass of anyone who thinks so.
9. Tobi in no way resembles Darth Vader.
10. Nor are the six bodies of Pein to be considered his Clone Troopers.
11. The Bijuu are not Pokemon, so please refrain from singing the Pokemon theme song on missions.
12. Even if we are trying to "catch 'em all.
13. We will not be addressed as "Team Rocket".
14. Hidan is not a vampire, even if his hairstyle resembles Dracula's.
15. Sasori is not a drug addict.
16. Even if he looks like one.
17. Refrain from glomping others, as it may be dangerous to your health and well-being.
18. Neko-chan is not to be reffered to as Magical Nyan Nyan Taruto, or any of the Tokyo Mew Mew characters.
19. Neko-chan will kill anyone who calls her "Ichigo", as she does not want to be mistaken for a "pink-haired bitch".
20. Do not refer to Tobi as "Tobi-sama"or "Leader-sama". Especially not in front of Pein.
21. Tours of the Akatsuki base to Konoha shinobi are not allowed.
22. Be careful what you say to Zetsu, as he may end up argueing with himself for hours.
23. Do not interrupt Kisame when he is eating. It makes him grumpy.
24. ANYONE WHO CANNOT CONTROL THEIR FANGIRLS SHALL BE THROWN OUT.
25. None of the "Akatsuki Pick-up Lines" shall be mentioned or said while in the base.
26. Do not give Tobi coffee if you know what's good for you.
27. Or Pixie-stix.
28. Do not call Deidara "sempai" as it makes Tobi feel unwanted.
29. Kisame is not to be referred to as "Jaws", "Fish Boy", or "Sushi".
30. In response to many Youtube videos, Itachi is not an "emo kid".
31. Nor has Deidara ever worked at Burger King.
32. Sasori indeed had a Speak n' Spell as a child, but do not mention it to him, as it gives him nightmares.
33. Neko-chan is allowed on her laptop as long as she wants. Take it away from her only at your own risk.
34. Kazul is allowed in and out of the base as she pleases. Unlike Orochimaru, she will be sure to come back.
35. Deidara is not a "candy man".
36. Nor is Itachi a "superstar", no matter he wishes he was.
37. Snakes are not allowed in the base, as it attracts..."unwanted company".
38. Try and ignore some of the stuff Zoto says. anything you say to her can and will be used against you. And we mean ANYTHING.
39. ITachi does not have "Uchiha senses".
40. Do not get Kakuzu mad, as we can no longer afford paying medical bills.
41. You not Kakuzu's "apprentice", nor has he ever fired anyone.
42. Kakuzu in no way resembles Ebenezer Scrooge or Eugene Krabs.
43. Do not try to eat Tobi, he is not a lollipop.
44. Neko-chan is allowed to call Deidara nii-chan anytime she wants. This does not give you permission to, by any means.
45. Be aware that if you choose to take sides with one of the Akatsukis artists, it will put you on bad terms with the others.
46. It is Neko-chans job to feed the Bijuu. Doing so yourself may result in you being mauled by demons.
47. Do not steal and/or try to use Deidaras clay; if it blows up half the base you will be responsible for reconstruction fees.
48. None of the Akatsuki resemble Harry Potter characters, and will therefore not be addressed as such.
49. Except Orochimaru. He looks like Voldemort and he knows it.
50. Do not steal Kakuzus wallet. Nuff said.
51. Sasori does not keep his organs in jars beside his bed, and must not be asked such questions.
52. Sasori is not a male stripper.
54. Watering Zetsu does not make him grow, it only gets him angry.
55. Tobi is a good boy. You are not allowed to call yourself a good boy/girl. In extension,
56. All catch phrases are copyrighted by the person who uses them, and using them yourself can be considered illegal if necessary.
57. Do not steal any Miracle Gro from Zetsus fridge.
58.Challenging Itachi to a ping-pong match will only lead to your own undoing.
59. If you value your life to any degree, do not disturb Sasori while he is building his card towers.
60. Strip poker is not allowed on Game Night.
61. Do not compare Konan to Hyuga Hinata; they look nothing alike.
62. The Teletubbies theme song is strictly prohibited from the base.
63. We are indeed the champions. Singing the song is not necessary.
64. Do not put strings on Sasori.
65. Zoto and Itachi are allowed to argue as much as they want. It keeps them from getting bored.
66. Tobi, listen closely: Clay is NOT porridge.
67. Itachi is allowed to sleep late. Do not question that.
68. Do not use any flame-producing products near Sasori, he is highly flammable.
69. Kisame is not the Rainbow Fish.
70. Hidan is not the Grim Reaper.
71. No matter how cool that would be.
72. Yes, we eat ramen here. This in no way makes us similar to Naruto Uzumaki.
73. Itachi is not a pimp, even if he wishes he was one.
74. Nor are any of the Akatsuki his bitches.
75. Do not allow mirrors near Tobi, as he believes he is being sucked into another dimension.
76. We are the dark side, and yes, we have cookies, but is it really necessary to keep saying that?
77. Caramelldansen is permitted on Game Night only.
78. It is a bad idea to challenge Kisame to a GH3 duel, as you will soooo get your ass kicked.
79. Kazul is not to be mistaken for a Jinchuriki.
80. We do not resemble the Ouran High School Host Club in any way.
81. Nor the people from Azumanga Daioh.
82. Or Sailor Scouts.
83. We are not gangsters, so please stop talking like that.
84. Do not mention the Mafia or Al Qaeda here. We are ten times better than they will ever be.
85. Even though our long term goal can be considered world peace, we are in no way hippies, and are not to be referred to as such.
86. Kisame is not a cannibal. The only time he ever ate shark, we tricked him into doing it, and he promptly vomited after being told.
87. Alcohol is strictly prohibited from the base, especially near Hidan. Yes, Sasori, you too.
88. Please do not pet Neko-chan like a cat. No, she doesnt like it.
89. It is Itachis job to make prank calls to Otogakure, as he is the best at impersonating a Girl Scout. Do not ask why.
90. Do not interrupt Kazul while she is drawing, as it may result in death.
91. DO NOT get Crystal annoyed, or you will face the concequences.
92. Itachi does not want "Fabulous"
93. Do not go into Tobi's room, or he'll lock you in and ramble about randomness until your head explodes (Not Deidara's fault)
94. Do NOT, and I mean NOT!!!! eat Itachi's dango. You'll go through 72 hours of torture.
95. Do not call (1) Itachi "weasel", (2) Sasori "Pinnochio", (3)Deidara "Ino", (4) Kakuzu "Cheap bastard", (5)Hidan "Mother Fucker", (6) Kisame "Fish", (7) Zetsu "Vegetable", (8) Pein "Yondaime" or "Peircing freak", (9) Tobi "A bad boy", (10) Neko-chan "Strawberry shortcake", (11) Kazul "Raven", (12) Byakko a "Nice Kitty-kitty," while patting her head like she's five, (13) or Crystal an "Obsessed Itachi fangirl" or you gone get murdered.
Disobeying any of these rules(that do not involve being killed already) may result in such penalties as torture by childrens educational television, being forced to spend time in Tobis room, and writing unnecessarily long apologies to both Pein and the person of whom the rule is about.